Tories Announce Plans to Bring Back Hanging #noagenda

It is perhaps fitting that the biggest story of the election, and one that will possibly bring down the next government, and the one after, slipped by almost unnoticed.

I am talking of course about today’s diary piece by Peter Hitchens.

Elsewhere, the Tories are on the verge of bringing back hanging. They won’t, for the simple reason that it might effect women. In politics, as in life generally, and chess, women are the brahmin class.

But don’t anyone dare say this. Or point out that that Jeremy Corbyn is a fool when he claims cuts in public services are to blame for the London Bridge attack. Particularly when a quick search turns up this: “Home Grown: How Domestic Violence Turns Men Into Terrorists” by Joan Smith. As an example of it’s type, particularly from the usual suspects, it is quite rational: racist (these nutters only ever write such things about brown people) but rational.

There are only so many names that can be added to the sex offenders register, and therefore monitored by MAPPA, before the whole thing becomes unworkable: regardless of how much money is poured into it, and how many more unionised jobs Labour wants to create.

There is a famous case- unfortunately my HRT prevents me from remembering the names- of a teacher, who ran off with his pupil.When the girl was old enough, they married. And, have been married for more than twenty years. He’s on the register, as a sex offender.

Occasionally stories turn up in the papers -usually for reasons of class- of teenage boys who touch some girls boobs, thus committing the crime of being ugly in public: they are on the register. A much larger number of cases never reach public scrutiny: if they did the system would collapse due to ridicule.

And officially, and administratively, they are dealt with on the same level of seriousness as a convicted terrorist.

So yes, Mr Corbyn may have a point, that it is Tony Blair’s fault. It was he, who introduced the stupid system, while systematically dismantling the family.

But Mr Corbyn is also to blame, and indeed may perhaps bare the main burden of responsibility for why Usman Khan decided to be Jihadi Wolverine.

I wasn’t in favour of the Iraq war, and said so at the time. In fact, I said, and still say, that the Blair/Brown government was the worst, most corrupt, rotten government Britain has ever endured. What I didn’t do was feed a resentment, a racist resentment, stoked up by the Rushdie Affair by giving inflammatory speeches. And is this him in 1996? Not that it matters, because you can be sure that Mr Corbyn will always be on hand to stoke up the faithful, and feed the paranoid.

People like Usman Khan.

But don’t worry Mr Corbyn has a plan. He wants more focus on rehabilitating terrorists. To get them less fixated on violent outbursts based on perceived slights and insults (and vast over arching narratives that make sort of sense, but not). As part of his plan, he is going to insist that those convicted of terrorism are never allowed to listen to a word he, or people like him, say. For fear it might trigger them.

And to enforce this, if elected, he will have Home Secretary Diane Abbott crack down hard on anyone using sectional, race based, politics.

In a curious twist to the London Bridge attack, one of the heroes, James Ford, turns out not to be a hero. Mr Ford, who was on day release for the murder of Amanda Champion: and her aunt (speaking as a woman, and therefore can’t be wrong) has said he isn’t a hero for wrestling with a Mr Khan, despite not knowing the bomb vest wasn’t real, and quite possibly saving the lives of the kids on the nearby school bus: had it been real and exploded.

Angela Cox, the aunt, said, “It was a hell of a shock. It is a horrible thing. She said, Have you heard about the incident in London today?’ and I hadn’t.

“She said, “ Put it on now and you will see James Ford on the telly’.

“She said, “Don’t worry, it is not him that’s done anything, he’s there and he is being classed as a hero’.

“For him to be called a hero — he is not, he is a cold-blooded murderer. For no reason whatsoever, he just went out and murdered a disabled person.

“I don’t care what he’s done today, he’s a murderer. He is scum. Amanda was my niece and she was vulnerable and he took her life.

“He knew what he was doing. People don’t change.”

She didn’t go so far as to wish him stabbed to death, or perhaps she did, and for reasons of decorum that isn’t being reported.

One person, who as yet has not been found to have upset a woman, is Narwhal Man, currently known only as Lukasz. Apparently the Polish government (the far-right, anti-Semitic Polish government) are going to award him a medal. On account of him being a hero.

Now I am not one to throw stones, but, why do I get the feeling that his only being named as Lukasz means in a day or two, when we find out his full name, something will come out that means he’s not a hero either. I am somewhat surprised that he hasn’t been condemned for use of the narwhal tusk by PETA.

One person who is a hero, and beyond reproach is Leanne O’Brien. Not only is she attractive, female, and a veterinary student (and therefore loves animals), but she is, and this is my reason for mentioning her, the recipient of one of the most Daily Mail pieces of writing I have seen in a very long while…

“ Veterinary science student Leanne O’Brien learned of her boyfriend’s murder just weeks after they had enjoyed a romantic trip to Seville, Spain, to celebrate his 25th birthday.”

There is no mention of the value of her house.

Of course had hanging not been abolished, Mr Ford, would not have been there to wrestle with Mr Khan. And quite possibly there would have been no need for the Learning Together conference, if the bar was set low enough to ease the pressure on prison places, by say, giving men the same sentences as women

Laura Pidcock, could set up an overly elaborate tribunal system, which would apply gender parity in sentencing. Any man found outside the gender norms, who would have been sent to gaol in the old sexist legal system, would be hung (possibly with it being televised on Channel 4). And those sentenced to goal would be encouraged to hang themselves by playing endless loops of Jess Philips trying to explain how she wasn’t laughing at male suicide rates.

Of course the Tory plans are much simpler. Home secretary and celebrated midget, Priti Patel, would just hang everyone. If only because she takes the crime of being ugly in public to extremes. And since no-one is as attractive as her (with the possible exception of Napoleon) everyone is guilty.

It is doubtful that Mr Johnson would oppose such measures, given that he is faced with the double problem of seeking re-election in order to maintain control of the files relating to what has been going on in Syria, and holding on to his fringe.

It is certainly a knotty problem.